


Mind issues

by Querion



Series: The woman within [6]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Coping, F/F, Love and trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14695068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Querion/pseuds/Querion
Summary: Voyager continues on its journey in the Delta Quadrant. The crew revisit Enara Prime, a planet of the telepaths in the episode "Remember" (Season 3, episode 6).Janeway is battling her demons. It turns out that she was more affected by her confrontation with the Kazon leader than she lets on to her spouse.Seven finds a unique solution.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***This work, like the previous one, has a bit of gruesome content about rape. Please use your discretion before reading***
> 
> I promise that things do get better in the end :)

"Kathryn, are you coming to bed soon?" Seven asked for the fourth time. The young woman was sure Kathryn was stalling. She has been cataloging Kathryn`s behaviour ever since her kidnap a few weeks previously. Janeway had recovered from her psychological ordeal from the Kazon incident according to the counselor, Veronica Stadi. She had even discharged the captain from her care and scheduled a month`s check up date. What the counselor did not know was that Kathryn only told her what she wanted to hear. Seven noted that the very day Kathryn was discharged from the counselor the woman came home and demanded a lot of cuddles and would not let Seven out of her sight. While the blonde woman was happy to offer the needed hugs and kisses, she knew that something else was going on. The Borg woman theorized that Kathryn may have discussed something profound with the counselor, something which may have been buried deep within the older woman`s psyche which troubled her greatly. So Seven decided to observe and investigate further. It was never easy to find out what was going on in Kathryn`s mind but this has greatly improved since Janeway had been to Terra, since she decided to release the woman, Kathryn. The road has been long and bumpy. Frequently Janeway still pulled rank on her wife, in their quarters, even though the couple had agreed to keep all professional issues and titles outside their living space. Seven had collected a lot of raw data from observing her wife and had done a lot of research on the topic of rape. In all her findings she found out one thing kept cropping up time and time again in the articles and scenarios she read. Psychological trauma. Could Kathryn be suffering from psychological trauma? But she was not technically or physically raped? Then Seven remembered reading Janeway`s report. Kathryn did mention being touched physically. So yes, Kathryn was still raped because that was her captor`s intention in the first place.

 

Seven waited for ten more minutes. She would attempt to physically get Kathryn off the computer and see what happens. After gathering evidence she had a pretty good idea of what she was dealing with. Culluh`s torture still weighed heavily on Kathryn`s mind. The young wife wondered whether Kathryn was right all along while in the Delta Quadrant the first time round, to be the captain and bury the woman within her in order to function effectively? Perhaps Janeway`s job requirement did demand the captain become inhuman? For a moment Seven was at a loss as how to handle such a situation. Finally she decided to go with her growing instinct. Seven realized that she had strong hunches just like wife. A few years ago she had called hunches "human fallacies" but now she knew them as the "sixth sense." The Betazoid people of Betazed had them too, but they were more developed and had become their characteristic trait. They use their "sixth sense" to sense others` emotions, hence their empathic abilities. The people of the planet Vulcan also had developed their hunch and it gave them telepathic abilities. Seven was sure hunches in humans were a rudimentary telepathic or empathic ability depending on how one developed them.

 

The ten minutes were up and Kathryn was still seated at the computer just outside the bedroom. She was yet to go to bed. Seven was reading a small padd, or pretending to read it. She wanted to be with her wife so much it hurt, but she knew that she had to be patient. Finally she decided thirty minutes was enough time.

"Kathryn, i am coming to get you." Seven made ruffling sounds with the bed linens to make Kathryn think that she was getting out of bed.

"OK! OK! i`m coming, Love. I was just looking at some information regarding the planet we will be visiting in three days." Janeway said as she got up from the chair and walked towards the bedroom door.

"I know. Enara Prime." Seven replied from the bedroom.

"Yes..." Whatever Janeway wanted to say was cut short as she stood at the bedroom door, holding either sides of the door frame, completely distracted by the tableau before her. The beautiful naked blonde stretched out on the bed lazily like a rare ancient painting. Kathryn felt the stirrings of arousal deep within her loins. She smiled at the woman on the bed and slowly moved towards her and sat down at the edge. She felt a warm arm reaching the nape of her neck and fingers started caressing her. Janeway realized that she was fully dressed and her companion was in the nude. Should she not disrobe as well? She asked herself but she also realized that Seven was not making demands for her to do so. She wondered if that was part of a game the blonde was playing.

 

Kathryn sighed inwardly. It would not do to sigh at the present moment, she did not want to ruin the mood but Seven`s hand touching the nape of her neck sent a pleasant feeling down her spine but at the same time she waited for pain to accompany the tender and pleasant touch caused by her captor. She forced herself to not flinch at the pleasant touch. In her mind`s eye she may well be in Culluh`s compound and Seven could be a disguise of her captor. It was such a confusing and contradictory sensation. To her dismay, Kathryn saw in her mind`s eye, the desire leave out an air lock. This time she sighed openly and gently placed an arm on Seven`s shoulder.

"I`m sorry, Darling. I don`t thing i deserve your love tonight...or any night soon..." Kathryn whispered as she looked down on the bed. Guilt and shame filled her mind as she distanced herself from her lover.

"...but Kathryn, could you at least lie next to me? You do not have to tell me anything straight away. I just want to feel your body in my arms." That made the guilt ridden Janeway feel worse than when she first came into the room but she forced herself to lie next to her wife, fully dressed. 

 

Seven saw Kathryn stand at the bedroom door, a beautiful, crooked smile on her lips. She moved slowly, as if in slow motion, towards the bed and sat at the edge. The young woman was disappointed that Kathryn was still dressed but she would take it for now. So she decided to touch Kathryn where she liked to be touched, at the nape. She felt Kathryn flinch, ever so slightly, but Seven kept her hand there. She assumed that Kathryn was still fighting against her fear of being touched.

"Come, Kathryn. I will hold you now. We will do nothing you do not want to do until you tell me to." With the gentle, soothing words Kathryn finally lay beside Seven in a rigid, mechanical posture and still dressed.

"Oh, dear. This is not fair on her." Kathryn thought to herself as she lay in the warm embrace. "I should really tell her what is going on or this could cost me dearly. I hope she understands." So Janeway made a decision in her mind.

 

The two women fell asleep, one in the nude while the other wore a pair of leggings and a tee shirt.


	2. Love me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven of Nine is determined to help Kathryn as she battles against fear of intimacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small chapter showing a stage in Kathryn`s psychological healing.

Kathryn lay in her wife`s warm embrace. She felt gentle, hesitant arms go around her middle to settle in her belly. No words were exchanged for a while. Kathryn concentrated on Seven`s warm breath caressing her neck. It felt lovely to lie in these arms so why was she afraid? Janeway knew what she felt was irrational but she could not help herself. She opened her mouth, wanting to share her feelings with her wife but closed it again. Was Seven awake? Would she even understand what she was going through? Finally Janeway decided to tell her spouse what she felt. If Seven decided that she can longer wait for her or if the young woman decided to force intimacy on her Kathryn was willing to go along with it. Perhaps her Seven will wipe the irrationality out of her system. On the other hand she knew that Seven of Nine would never force anything on her.

 

Seven lay behind Kathryn, her arms embracing her protectively from behind. The young woman, who was nude, felt Kathryn`s clothes ruffle against her skin. When Kathryn moved her hips to find a proper position to lay, the action caused a very pleasant sensation to course through the young woman`s body. Her nipples got harder and pressed Kathryn`s back deliciously. Seven bit back a moan and took a deep breath instead and released it slowly.

"Annika, i`m scared." Kathryn whispered in the dark. She hoped that the other woman was awake and heard her.

"What are you afraid of, my Kathryn?" Seven whispered back.

"I don`t know...i keep thinking that this is a simulation and i`ll wake up gagged, tied and locked in that room again."

"I understand, Kathryn, but know that i am real and i will never let you go." The Borg woman said with impossible tenderness.

"I know that now..." Janeway said with a hint of a smile which was not lost to Seven. The young woman felt hope rise from deep within. Maybe they were making some progress, after all.

"Why do you think me being real is amusing, Kathryn?"

"I don`t think anyone can simulate your...uh..." Janeway turned around in Seven`s embrace to face her. She could not see much in the darkened room but she could sense that her spouse was surprised by the act. For weeks Janeway had not been able to come this close to her wife, let alone lay in her arms or face her in this position.

"Shall i turn the light on, so you can really see that i am who you think i am?"

"Don`t be silly, Darling. I know very well who you are. Thank you for being here for me, for waiting for me. I feel so safe just lying here with you, in your arms. Will you take my clothes off?" It was not the most romantic line but Seven was overjoyed by the progress so she eagerly proceeded as requested while struggling to hold back her enthusiasm.

 

Soon the two naked women lay facing each other, tangled together it was difficult to tell where Janeway left off and where Seven began. Seven felt a shy hand trace her ocular implant then it moved down to the junction between her ear and jaw, where a star shaped implant was. Seven placed soft kisses on Kathryn`s forehead and to her eye lids. Kathryn sighed. Seven was highly aroused but she did not want to rush her lover into doing anything she was not ready for.

 

They continued with their game, lazily tracing each others` bodies and mapping every contours. Seven`s unique scent intoxicated Kathryn when it reached her nostrils.

"Oh, my Darling. I love you so much." Janeway moaned and buried her face between the valley of her lover`s generous bosom. Kathryn moved her head slightly to take a plump nipple between her lips and sucked lightly on it while her other hand went to possessively cover the other breast. Fingers gently pinched the rock hard bud they found there.

"Uuuhh! Kathryn!" The young woman cried out her appreciation to the pleasant teasing.

"I am here, Love. What would you like me to do?" Kathryn asked huskily.

"Everything." The sex starved young woman responded, not really knowing what specific thing she wanted. All Seven knew was that whatever her lover wanted to do to her, she would be fine with it.


	3. Love music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janeway gets her sex mojo back.

The Star ship went round the Enaran planet in a steady orbit. Blue, green and grey drapes lined the mess hall bulk heads forming a beautiful alien tapestry. Enaran and Federation food and drink were served by volunteer Starfleet officers as well as Enaran people who helped cook the foods. It was then served on low tables where people sat or squatted as per Enaran custom. There was not a chair in sight, only beautiful coloured cushions and mats strategically placed on the floor around the room. Enaran music played by different musicians and some Starfleet officers were trying their hands on the exotic looking musical instruments.

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway, flanked by her first Officer Commander Tuvok and security chief Commander Ro Laren, entered the mess hall with a smile. She was wearing a white silken blouse and a black pair of trousers with elegant black flat shoes. Seven, who stood in the corner talking to her friend, B`Elanna Torres, halted mid sentence. She seemed distracted as she looked at the mess hall entrance where Kathryn and her command team walk in.

"She`s lovely, isn`t she?" B`Elanna said while punching her friend on the arm.

"Yes, she is." Seven agreed distractedly.

"...and you`ve got it really bad, don`t you? How long has it been?" Torres whispered into her friend`s ear conspiratorially.

"Forty two days, six hours and twenty six seconds and the `Kathryn hologram` does not feel like the real thing, B`Elanna." Seven whispered back.

"Not alleviating the itch, huh? I recommend cold showers until things work out then." The chief engineer suggested helpfully. Seven gave her a poisonous look and continued to scan the room with her eyes. She finally saw Kathryn sitting at a desk in the corner across the room, playing a stringed musical instrument which looked like a cello. Jor Brel, an elderly Enaran male, stood behind her. His stretched right arm was placed on the captain`s right shoulder. Janeway`s eyes were shut in concentration to what she was doing. She plucked at the alien instrument expertly producing a tasteful tune which Seven recognised as "You are my sunshine." Kathryn`s mind focused on the song while her fingers focused on the four strings. As she plucked the strings she imagined that the instrument was her wife`s body and that she was plucking her. 

 

Seven of Nine excused herself and quickly rushed to her quarters. She had to touch herself. The moment the door closed behind her the young woman proceeded into the bedroom and threw herself on the couple`s bed. She quickly undressed and was not surprised to find that she was indeed very aroused sexually and that the evidence had soaked her underwear quite a bit. Seven sighed with relief as she stroked herself. One hand stroked her erect nipple while the other fondled with her womanhood down below. Without a warning she felt her climax approaching and she soon came in her hand in a satisfying sexual release.

 

In the mess hall Kathryn continued to play the cello-like instrument. She playing more romantic tunes that only she knew while the Enaran man smiled knowingly. She felt aroused so to cover it up she played the song as a distraction. Commander Ro Laren, the security chief, was starting to get concerned when she noticed that the captain seemed to be in a trance like state. Jor Brel gently placed an arm on Laren to stop her from interfering. Kathryn played the last song then stopped. She oddly felt sexually sated. How could this have happened without making love to or with anyone? Janeway asked herself. When she looked back up at the old man, he gave her a knowing smile which caused Janeway to blush.

"Don`t worry my dear captain. Your secret`s safe with me." The old man whispered kindly in her ear.

"What secret?" Kathryn asked defensively. The man only smiled at her.

 

Janeway blushed again when realization downed on her. To the telepathic Enarans, music can be used as a medium to make love to someone. The old man had simply helped her make love to Seven telepathically, through music.

"Thank you, Jor Brel. I will never forget you." Janeway said shyly. She knew that the old Enaran was aware of her fear of intimacy and love making and he had helped her regained both. Janeway could not wait for the evening when she would go back to her quarters and show Seven how much she loved her.

 

Commander Laren had no idea what had just passed between her captain and the alien man but she had a very good idea of what may have happened to Janeway just then. Commander Ro Laren decided to keep a watchful eye on all Enarans in the room. She will ask Tuvok about music and intimacy among telepaths later.

 

Ro Laren could not help smiling at her captain discreetly having an orgasm in a room full of people while playing a cello. She shook her head and walked out of the mess hall to continue her patrol of the ship...

 

THE END.


End file.
